Dear Readers, I am not a football fan in terms of stopping everything to watch the game. I’ll watch it if it is on but…. meh. However, what I really do like to see is the sense of community and good humour between team members and between supporters. A lot has been said about Gareth Southgate’s management style by others more knowledgeable to comment than me. What I can see is a manager who is good at communication with his team. He has empathy – the focus on good mental health is evidence of that. He has empathy not only for his team but for the other players involved in the game – the consoling of the Colombian player who missed the penalty showed that too.
What’s this got to do with family law? It’s all about communication and empathy. When your family is changing, it is an emotional and challenging time for all involved. I am convinced that good communication and empathy can make the journey easier. That does not mean just agreeing to everything the other person wants – the England team don’t do that. But they play with understanding and respect for the other party. That’s the key, in my view.
Emails and text messages are great ….. but are not absolute best way to discuss difficult topics. Humans communicate not just through words but also with facial expressions and body language. Emails and text messages should be used with caution and if you can feel the exchange getting heated, back away from the keyboard! Remember, once something is said in an email or a text message, it is there for all time to be brooded over and re-read looking for other meanings. It can really be harmful to having a civil relationship when a family is changing. The same goes for social media. If you need to get it off your chest, do not do it in on social media.
If you have children, you will be linked to each other forever. those same children who you both love and are incredibly proud of will want you both at award ceremonies, graduations, weddings, christenings and other special events. I guarantee that what they will not want is the hassle and aggravation of worrying about whether their parents will make a scene nor having to choose who to invite.
Communication and understanding. Give it a go. Turn the corner. Pitch it to the other side. Kick the idea about. (Sorry. Couldn’t resist. It’s coming home, after all).